In my Bible reading this morning (yes, I seem to get blog ideas from my Bible reading!), I read about the resurrection of Christ in the book of Luke and I couldn't help but notice how real, tangible and emotion-laden the story has become to me since performing in Godspell. It may have been almost four years ago now (gasp!), but the lessons I learned and the emotions I felt as I participated in acting out events in the life of Jesus will stay with me for the rest of my life. Some of them cause me to giggle in the middle of sermons, some cause me to cry when most eyes around me are dry.
I will never be able to hear the song 'Day By Day' without thinking about how close I can be to my Savior on a daily basis and longing for the day when I will be able to smile up into His face, embrace Him and feel the warmth of His love and arms around me.
I will never be able to hear the story of sower with a straight face! The entire time I will be thinking about pretending to be a Kindergartner not paying attention to the lesson and having a make-believe tea party with my two friends instead and yet somehow being able to be honored to play the part of the 'good soil!'
I will never be able to read the story of The Prodigal Son without thinking about the devotions we had for several weeks reading through Henri Nouwen's book "The Return of the Prodigal Son." The insight I received as we read through that book and discussed it afterward is something I will always remember. Thinking about the aspects of myself that are 'prodigal-like' but also recognizing the 'older brother' tendencies I have gave me some valuable insight into my life. Of course, there's also the part about the Father's love for BOTH sons, which is always a good reminder of how awesome our Heavenly Father is. I will also not be able to think about that story without thinking about "Chariots of Fire"...
I will never be able to read the story of Jesus separating the sheep and the goats without thinking about wearing sheep ears, baa-ing at the goats who were trying to get on the sheep's side and dancing on my hands and knees like a sheep!
I will never be able to hear about Jesus washing the disciples feet without feeling the embarrassment of having the Creator of the Universe stoop down to wash me. And then, of course, I will always think of Peter - "Not just my feet, but my hands and my head as well!"
I will never be able to read the story of the Last Supper without feeling the love of Christ for His disciples and the confusion the disciples must have felt when the Man they loved so dearly tried to explain that He was going to be betrayed and die. That 'goodbye' scene and the tears that would well up will forever be ingrained in my memory.
I will never be able to hear the story of the crucifixion again without feeling the agony of the betrayal of the disciples and what my sin caused Jesus to do for me. And yet, how many times do I betray Him like this every single day when I continue to sin and not do what He desires me to?
I will never be able to think about those three days Jesus was in the grave without thinking of the excruciating mental state the disciples were in, knowing they fled from Him in His darkest hour and now the Man they had spent every waking moment with for the past three years was dead. In a grave. I will also always think about the confusion they felt - is this what He was trying to tell us about? Why didn't we understand? Why didn't we listen? What are we supposed to do know? What's going to happen to us? I will forever remember the clinging to each other in utter grief, pain and bewilderment. I will also never forget looking at what held Him to that cross and thinking, "What a small thing to hold Him to that cross. That's not what kept Him up there - His love for me and for all those standing around me and for every person who has lived on this planet down through the centuries is what kept Him up there and NOTHING else."
And I will never, ever, ever forget the moment that started me on this blog post - the resurrection of Christ. We've heard about it, we believe it, we know all about it, but I don't believe I truly 'experienced' it until I was standing on that stage, clinging to the other disciples standing around me, crying and trying to sing, then hearing the strains of "Prepare Ye" floating into the room, looking up and seeing a man in white coming down the aisle. He died as a sacrifice, but He rose from the dead - He conquered sin and death so that all might live forever with Him!! I will forever remember the relief and utter joy and peace that flooded me! The knowledge that things may get rough, but everything is going to be alright. The joy of knowing of my Savior's love for me became fresh, new and tangible.
Now I know some of this may sound funny to some people because it was 'just' acting in a show, but let me tell you, when you're acting out something that you know in your heart and soul to be real, it becomes very real and you learn so much about yourself and the people and story you are acting out.
There are many more things that I learned, but two last things I want to share don't have so much to do with the play itself, but with the people. The first was sitting around in a circle on stage, acting out what we were supposed to do during the song, but also praying the entire time for the girl who was leading the song who was sick and who's voice had been going in and out. You could palpably feel the prayers that were going up on her behalf and you could also feel the love we all had for her and how we were all coming together to lift her up. The bond we all had in that moment was so tight and it was truly an amazing feeling. Of course, she sang the song beautifully and I remember all of us secretly glancing at each other with a smile and maybe a few tears after she sang the highest note with ease. That day I learned the power of corporate prayer and the camaraderie that comes from a group of believers praying together and loving on each other together and the bond that is formed. Unfortunately, that's my best effort of trying to describe a scene that is truly beyond words - you really had to be apart of it to know exactly what happened on that stage that night.
This last thing I learned is probably one of my favorite and most memorable stories from all the plays I've been in. We were all standing in a circle praying about 10 minutes before we were supposed to start the show. We finished the prayer and looked up, only to see one of the 9 disciples (another one, not the same one mentioned in the other story) sitting on the floor, white as a ghost and suddenly feeling very sick. I remember someone grabbing her something to eat and drink while the rest of us gathered around her, laid our hands on her and prayed. There was someone else in the building who could play her part and play it well, but it wouldn't be the same - we needed HER. After eating and drinking a little bit, she felt well enough to go on, but we were all on alert, making sure she was okay the entire time on stage, prepared to help her if she needed it, grabbing her some water on stage if she needed it (we never left except at intermission) and praying for her every chance we got. It wasn't just those of us on stage who were praying for her - everyone working backstage was praying for her and everyone else in the cast not on stage and everyone was ready to assist at a moment's notice if anything went wrong. That show was our best one. We all flew across the stage and the one who was sick - she was AMAZING!! No one who saw the show would have believed that she had been barely able to stand up just 10 minutes before the show started! Again, words can't quite describe the emotions that were felt during that performance. Yet another example of what I learned about prayer during that show.
I learned oh, so many other things - I gained more insight in the story of the woman caught in adultery, the Good Samaritan, Jesus crying over Jerusalem, the log and the speck, the list goes on, but I won't bore you in a very long trip down memory lane. To sum up, being in Godspell was one of the most amazing experiences in my life and I am still building on the things I learned during it. So, for all of you who cringe at the mention of Godspell, let me tell you: when it's done well and for the glory of God, it can be a most powerful tool!
Jesus and the disciples in my cast. Love you all!!
Blessings in Christ,
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